Sunday, 10 April 2016

NFF crisis: Orumen dismisses Jos court judgement

NFF crisis: Orumen dismisses Jos court judgement

By Jacob Ajom Stakeholders have continued to react to the ruling by a Jos High Court which granted Chris Giwa

$40m pipeline contract: My story, by Robert Azibaola

By Soni Daniel, Abuja Robert, the Managing Director of Kakatar Construction and Engineering and Oneplus Holdings Nigeria Ltd, in this piece, speaks on his detention by the EFCC.

Missing projects: Buhari to return 2016 Budget to NASS

*Lagos-Calabar N60 billion coastal railway removed *Idu-Kaduna rail line cut by N8.7 billion *Major federal roads slashed

Record Breaking: Cristiano Ronaldo scores 30 La Liga goals for sixth season in a row

Real Madrid’s all-time record scorer Cristiano Ronaldo helped Real Madrid beat Eibar 4-0, and in the process became the first player ever in Europe’s top leagues to score 30 goals in six straight seasons, and to even think he achieved all of this and he still plays so well at 31 years makes it more amazing. As Real Madrid's fans have come to know, where there is Ronaldo, there is hope.

Saturday, 9 April 2016

SUSPECTED METEOR: Unease as ‘mystery stone’falls from the sky in Taraba

SUSPECTED METEOR: Unease as ‘mystery stone’falls from the sky in Taraba

BY JOHN MKOM, JALINGO
About 10:45 am on March 12, farmers and hunters in Tse-Agena area of Mbatyula in Takum local government area of Taraba State heard a loud sound from the sky and then an object, suspected to be meteorite stone, landed.

GEJ, Ben Murray-Bruce at the funeral ceremony of Alamiyeseigha (photos)

Former President Goodluck Jonathan and Senator Ben Murray-Bruce was at the Bayelsa state government's Valedictory State Council session held in honor of the former governor of the state, Diepreye Alamiyeseigha.

GEJ's nephew granted bail after arrest by EFCC

Read the press statement below...

Davido Officially. Signs Two New Artistes To His Label, HKN Music

What phase is your relationship, in the love circle?

See How Diabetes Kills Silently!

If you have diabetes, what I’m about to share with you in this post could prevent you from having a premature heart attack,

While Ne-Yo and his new wife Crystal are still celebrating the arrival of son Prince Shaffer Chimere Smith Jr. the R&B star’s ex-fiancee Monyetta Shaw is revealing her regret at getting her tubes tied.

New Solution to Hormonal Imbalances; Ovulation Problems, High Prolactin and Low Libido issues Discovered!

If you suffer from Hormonal Imbalance; endometriosis, Irregular Menstrual Cycles, Delayed Periods, Miscarriages,

A Federal High Court in Jos, capital city of Plateau State has sacked the Amaju Pinnick-led board of the Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) and declared Chris Giwa as president of the national football body.

4yrs Salary Scandal: How Kwara Govt. Worsens Saraki's Predicament

TheNews - Kwara state government confirmation that it was paying Senator Bukola Saraki’s pension, instead of salary as stated by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission,

Buhari forced me to contest as governor- El-Rufai

Kaduna state governor, Nasir El-Rufai, yesterday April 7th, said President Buhari forced him to run for governor of the state ‎last year.

Appeal Court grants Nollywood actress, Ibinabo, N

Appeal Court grants Nollywood actress, Ibinabo, N2m bail
By Onozure Dania Lagos—The Court of Appeal, sitting in Lagos, has granted N2 million bail

Release Jonathan's Cousin to him or Charge him to Court, Nigerians tells EFCC

Release Jonathan's Cousin to him or charge to Court,Nigerians tells EFCC

Nigerians have call for the release of the nephew of ex-president Goodluck Jonathan, Azibaola Robert, the Managing Director of Kakatar Engineering limited following his continuous detention by anti-graft agency, Economic and Financial Crime Commission EFCC. Operatives of EFCC arrested Azibaola along with his wife and executive director of projects of his firm after he honoured an invitation by the commission. According to reports, Azibaola was immediately taken to detention and has been held there for more than two weeks without formal charges. A Public Affairs commentator, Henry Omoregie condemned the arrest and detention of the entrepreneur by the anti-graft body, stressing that it is an unnecessary distraction from the glaring failure of governance. “I think it is an unnecessary distraction from the glaring failure of governance. Of course the soul that sinneth should not go unpunished but this case is clearly, as things stand, sheer impunity. If the security contract in question was actually carried out without hitches, why hold the contractor in detention,” he queried. “Why seek for details of execution when the contract was actually executed? I also understand that Mr Robert is ex-President Jonathan’s cousin. The selective justice we are witnessing has become too conspicuous for even the least informed to see. “First it was his CSO, detained, then released; then his ADC detained and released. In fact the latter has sued the FG for illegality. This has become a charade. The courts should hear people out no matter the cases involved. We are not in a military dictatorship where things are done arbitrarily. Selective justice is actually corruption,” he said. The spokesperson of the foremost Ijaw Youth Council Worldwide, Eric Omare, stated that Azibola should be treated as a Nigerian who is entitled to fundamental human rights. He said: “Robert is a citizen of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. The security agency that has kept him in incarceration is a creation of law and subject to the law and therefore ought to follow due process of law in carrying out their functions”. Other Nigerians have joined the conversation, using the hashtag #SelectiveJusticeIsInjustice to demand the immediate release of Mr. Azibola and his wife.

Read more at: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/04/release-jonathans-cousin-charge-court-nigerians-tell-efcc/

Vice President Yemi Osinbajo unveils President Buhari's strategic implementation plan for the 2016 budget

Below is President Muhammadu Buhari's strategic implementation plan for the 2016 budget:

We acknowledge the pains you face and are concerned about them.

There are a multitude of things that require decisive action. We are taking action and in due course they will produce satisfying outcomes. Our determination is firm and unrelenting.
Consequently, I am pleased to share President Muhammadu Buhari's strategic implementation plan for the 2016 budget.

This Strategic Implementation Plan articulates 6 thematic Strategies and 33 priority actions which will constitute the short-term priority of the Federal Government over the next 12 months.
1. Lasting Changes in the Policies, National Security and Governance.

● Achieve an Appropriate Foreign Exchange Regime

● Increase low interest lending to the Real Sector. We will need to move toward a single digit interest rate.

● Maintain Capital Spending in the Budget at a minimum of 30%. Complement this with funds from the Infrastructure Fund for commercial projects

● Intensify the Implementation of Public Financial Management Reforms to Grow Revenues and Cut Costs.

● Maintain Sustainable Debt Management Strategy.

● Introduce Fiscal Incentives to Improve Collections

● Intensify the Fight Against Corruption by increasing Transparency, Accountability and Compliance with Law and Order

● Intensify Public Procurement Reforms in Projects to obtain Value for Money and cut costs.

● Sustain the Fight Against Insurgency, Kidnapping and Other Violent Crimes, Terrorism, Cyber-Crimes, Piracy, Oil Theft and Illegal Mining Activities.

Intensify the reorientation of the populace through Integrity Campaigns
2. Diversify the Economy by Fast-tracking Industrialization, Agriculture and Agro-Allied Processing, as well as attracting investment into the Solid Minerals, Tourism and Entertainment Sectors

● Implement Measures to Achieve Self-Sufficiency & Become Net Exporters of certain agricultural Items:

Rice-2018,

Tomato Paste-2016,

Wheat-2019.

Increase local production of maize, soya, poultry & livestock, so as to achieve self-sufficiency: deadlines to be announced in due course.

● Revitalize and Expand Agro-Allied Processing to intensify local production and processing of cassava, cocoa, cashew, fruits and sesame seed

● Utilize 5,000 hectares of Irrigable Land in the 12 River Basin Development Authorities and utilize 22 Dams for Commercial Farming activities by prospective investors

● Develop Dadinkowa, Gurara and Oyan dams with 82.5 MW capacity contribution to the National Grid.

● Adopt and Implement a Roadmap to Stimulate Investment into the Solid Minerals sector, and plug Revenue Leakages in the Sector

● Implement the National Industrial Revolution Plan and Launch the ‘Made in Nigeria’ Campaign

● Increase Manufacturing Capacity through the operationalization of Industrial Parks, Free and Export Processing Zones, etc.

● Enhance support facilities to provide increased financial, technical assistance, networking and information to new investors and existing enterprises.

● Implement the Roadmap to Increase Private Sector Investment in Culture, Tourism, Entertainment and Sports

● Create high-technology innovation hubs to support growth in the Digital and Technology Sectors

3. Priortize critical Infrastructure, focused on increasing investment in Power, Rail and Roads, etc.

● Optimize the 7,000MW installed capacity and ensure associated infrastructure to Fuel, Transmit and Distribute this capacity.

● Ensure Tariff includes all costs of Transmission, Generation and Gas at new price, and Distribution Company costs required to operate, maintain and upgrade distribution networks.

● Resolve all Issues on Gas Pricing, Tariffs and Payment Assurance. Conclude Roadmap on Gas Development.

● Complete the Kaduna-Abuja and Ajaokuta-Warri Rail Lines scheduled for 2016; commence the construction of the Lagos-Kano standard gauge Line; and finalize negotiations for the Calabar-Lagos Rail Project.

● Undertake the rehabilitation and construction of 31 major Road Projects scheduled for 2016 to restore degraded sections of the Federal Highways network and to Establish Connectivity over a distance of 2,193km (through public works projects, maintenance works, PPP and other interventions)

● Complete the Rehabilitation of 4 Airports (i.e. Abuja, Kano, Lagos and Port Harcourt..

4. Oil and Gas Reforms

● Adopt & Execute a Comprehensive National Oil & Gas Master-Plan (‘NOGM’) as the roadmap for the Petroleum Industry’s Development, Diversification, Privatization & Governance. Adopt & Execute a Roadmap of Gas Development & Flare Elimination

● Set a deadline to be Self-Sufficient in Refined Petroleum Products & become a Net Exporter

● Work with the National Assembly on the passage of a Revised Petroleum Industry Bill (‘PIB’) or Bills to give effect to the NOGM & to resolve Fiscal & Governance Issues of the Sector, & Eliminate Gas Flaring.

● Conclude negotiations to deal with all funding gap issues in the Upstream Sector

5. Ease of Doing Business

● Move 20 places up global Ease of Doing Business Rankings, by implementing fast track measures for business approvals, acquisition of land titles, etc. (Nigeria is currently ranked 169 out of 189 countries by the World Bank – 2015 Survey)

● Fast-track visa application and issuance processes

6. Social Investment

● Implement Social Intervention Programme and specific Health / Education projects included in 2016 Budget

● Health Sector Interventions including Flagging off the Revitalization of 1 Primary Health Centre per Ward (a total of 10,000 nationwide)

The Social Investment plans include the following:

● Train and deploy 500,000 unemployed graduates as volunteer teachers who would be paid on the job while they seek jobs in their chosen careers.

● Homegrown School Feeding for primary school pupils across the country paid for by the government

● Micro-credit scheme that provides very soft loans to a million market women, artisans, traders

● Creating innovation and technology hubs/ parks on a large scale and skills acquisition & vocational training for over 300,000 non-graduate youths

● Conditional Cash Transfer where one million poor and vulnerable Nigerians would receive N5000 monthly

● Bursary awards for tertiary education students of Science, Technology, Engineering & Maths, STEM.

President Muhammadu Buhari's administration remains committed to economic diversification through import substitution and export promotion.
In addition to this, we will continue to engage the Nigerian people. We will resume Town-hall meetings to explain the progress and address the challenges.
Together, Nigeria will prevail"

Kano State Govt considers option for proposed China Town– Gov. Ganduje

Kano state government wants alternative financiers for the construction of a proposed China town in the state capital, following the failure of some Chinese investors to execute the project,

Duncan mighty gets a car as a youth Brand Ambassador

Duncan mighty got the car above as a youth Brand Ambassador to Niger Delta. Congrats!

INEC partisanship reason for renewed electoral violence - Fayose

Ekiti State Governor, Mr Ayodele Fayose has told the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) Chairman, Professor Mahmood Yakubu to first purge the electoral commission under him of partisanship and election manipulations before seeking the establishment of Electoral Offences Tribunal, saying; “INEC under the
present dispensation is the number one electora offender and that electoral reform without INEC neutrality is a mirage.”

He said any Electoral Offences Tribunal established under this present dispensation will only be used against opposition parties as the Department of States Services, Police, Armed forces and other agencies of the federal government were used during the Bayelsa and Rivers States elections.

Special Assistant on Public Communications and New Media, Lere Olayinka quoted the governor as saying that; “Even though establishment of Electoral Offences Tribunal is not entirely a bad idea, but INEC as presently constituted does not encourage free, fair and violence free election and it should worry Prof Yakubu that INEC
as at today, is being referred to as Inconclusive National Electoral Commission because of the commission’s partisanship.”

The governor, who described electoral violence as a product of electoral injustice, said even President Buhari himself admitted his failure to conduct any free, fair and credible election since he assumed office.

He said; “During the Rivers State rerun elections that INEC has been unable to conclude, Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) was missing on result sheets of over 230 polling units and up till now, all what INEC
has been able to tell Nigerians was that the criminal omission of PDP in the result sheets was due to printers error. Was that not enough to cause violence?”

While blaming President Buhari for eroding INEC independence, Governor Fayose said; “The day President Buhari interfered with the internal administration of INEC by appointing Madam Amina Zakari, a National
Commissioner, as Acting Chairperson of the commission, a title and position unknown to the Constitution, INEC under the Buhari’s APC government lost its independence and its credibility was eroded.

“The reality that INEC itself must therefore face is that members of President Buhari’s party, APC have become so emboldened to unleash violence on Nigerians during elections because they know that the president won’t lift a finger provided his party members are the ones
perpetrating evil.

“INEC must therefore seek to regain its lost independence and credibility before talking about punishing electoral offenders because as it is now, INEC is the number one electoral offender and promoter of electoral violence.”

Mum who has sex with her son plans to marry and have kids by him

51 year old English woman, Kim West gave up her son, Ben Ford for adoption 30 years ago. Ben who was living in the US was able to track her down in 2013 and sent her a letter to let her know he was her son. Ben who had been married 2 years prior to contacting his mum began exchanging phone calls with his mum before they agreed to meet up.
Kim said when they met, it seemed like they had known each other for years.
Kim who is an interior designer said after she met her son, Ben Ford, 32, she started having sexy dreams about him and then realized she was sexually attracted to him so decided to look it up on the Internet. She said while surfing the net, she came across an article on Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA), and felt like a weight had lifted.

She said the first time they met was in a hotel, she shared they kissed and it progressed from there.

But the couple, who say their sex life is ‘incredible’ and are planning to get married, insist their relationship is not incest, the New Day reports

Kim has now been in a relationship with her biological son Ben Ford, 32, for two years and believe they are ‘meant to be’. She said they are now in love with each other and are trying for a baby together.

Ben who was married for 2 years to his wife Victoria has since divorced her to be in a relationship with his mum. He said his wife was disgusted when he told her but he insisted that the relationship wasn't incestuous.

They claim it is ‘Genetic Sexual Attraction’, a term used for relatives who feel sexual attraction for each other after meeting as adults.

Source: New Day

Thursday, 7 April 2016

Nigerian Premier League Review: FC Ifeanyi Ubah now league leaders

FC IfeanyiUbah, the football club owned by Billionaire oil tycoon Ifeanyi Ubah, is now the new leaders of the Nigerian football league after they beat Plateau United 2-0 yesterday at Nnewi to surpass Enugu Rangers at the top of the league standings.

IfeanyiUbah FC now has 19 points from 10 matches while Rangers have now recorded 18 points as they played out a 1-1 draw with MFM FC.

Ivorian player Pascal Seka gave IfeanyiUbah FC a first-half lead from the penalty spot in the 18th minute, when Bright Onyedikachi was brought down inside the penalty box.

Tamen Medrano, Ifeanyi Ubah FC's Cameroonian midfielder gave the home team a comfortable home win when minutes after coming off the bench, struck from 20 yards to double the home team’s advantage.

Woman’s Buttocks Explodes During Rough S*x, Boyfriend Jailed

19-year-old Sean Williams took the term “busting ass” quite seriously while having s*x with his older lover 26-year-old Tamela Martin.

Tamela was reported to have called 911 after Sean caused her buttocks to explode while they were having s*x doggy style.
The lady said that when they were having s*x, Williams started pounding her aggressively. She says she asked Williams to stop because something didn’t “feel right”.

She said,

“We was doing it and then he flipped me over and began to tear it up from the back. Asked him several times to be gentle, then I began to beg him to stop. That’s when he started going harder. I felt pressure building up in my booty and it felt like my booty was trippling in size, I felt the skin stretching. It was a pain I never experienced.”

Tamela was rushed to Grady Memorial Hospital after a response came to her 911 call. She recently received butt injections to give her a larger butt and says she was well aware of the risks involved.

Williams is however being charged with assault as they claim he ignored her pleas to stop during sex and is therefore culpable.

Officer Doug Davis of DeKalb County Police Department said,

“Even though she knew the risks, Sean Williams was still arrested because he was asked to stop and he disregarded the victim’s request. This has got to be the strangest assault case I’ve encountered.”

Sean Williams has been charged with one count of Sexual Assault and one count of Aggravated Assault. Tamela Martin is still in the hospital and is expected to recover.

One of Sean’s Relatives released a statement to Radar saying,

“HE IS THE FIRST DUDE TO GO TO JAIL FOR BUSSIN A B*TCHES @SS, I MEAN HE LITERALLY BEAT THAT @SS FLAT HE MUST HAVE BEEN SLAM F*CKING HER, I HOPE THE JUDGE GOES EASY ON HIM”

PHOTO: Apple To Move To Its New Headquarters…It’s The Best Office Building In The World

Cupertino looks like many other small, drab cities in northern California, with serried houses and shopping centres. Later this year, however, it will become the only place to find Apple’s newest creation: the enormous ring which will serve as the technology firm’s headquarters (rendering pictured above). Several months before he died in 2011, Steve Jobs, Apple’s founder and the mastermind of the project, predicted that the spaceship-like structure would become “the best office building in the world” and that people from everywhere would travel to see it.

To prove Jobs right, around 13,000 construction workers have laboured for years behind thick, high walls. The site spans several city blocks. Earlier this year, everything was hidden from view except cranes and a huge sand pile that rose a few hundred feet high, like the Great Pyramid of Giza. The scale of the project rivals the ancient Egyptians’ monuments. Every piece of glass on the four-storey exterior is curved, requiring special panes to be made in Germany – the largest pieces of curved glass ever manufactured. With a price tag of around $5 billion, it may be the most expensive corporate headquarters in history.

Jobs’s last public appearance was at a meeting of Cupertino’s city council at which he requested approval for the project. The building, which is designed by Norman Foster, a British architect, is both an ostentatious expression of Apple’s wealth and an elegant shrine to Jobs’s vision. Huge swathes of green space will sit within and outside the circular building, recalling the lush orchards that blossomed in the area when Jobs was a child. Jonathan Ive, Apple’s chief designer, who helped craft the iPod and iPhone, has overseen the particulars with the painstaking rigour he applies to refining all the firm’s new gadgets.

“Silicon Valley is having its Versailles moment,” says Louise Mozingo, a professor at the University of California, Berkeley, and the author of a fine book called “Pastoral Capitalism” about corporate headquarters. Last year Facebook opened a new, 430,000-square-foot building in Menlo Park designed to embody the company’s informal culture. Resembling a giant warehouse, it is reputedly the largest open-plan office in the world. Meanwhile, Google is working on a zany idea for a new headquarters to replace its Googleplex, which involves constructing movable glass buildings. Other technology companies, including Nvidia, Samsung and Uber, will, collectively, spend well over $1 billion on new buildings that broadcast their success. These ambitious projects will transform a bland architectural landscape of generic-looking office parks. But they also mark a cultural shift for the Valley, whose ethos is to value garages (in which firms like Hewlett-Packard and Apple were born) over glitz.

Man, 2 Daughters Burnt To Death As Stored Fuel Explodes In Lagos

According to PM News, a man simply identified as Shabi and his two daughters, 18 year old Mistura and 16 year old Adura, were burnt to death after some Jerry cans of petroleum products stored at their home in 5 Adebiyi Street, Somolu Oja in Lagos exploded yesterday night.

The Director of the Lagos State Fire Service, Rasak Fadipe, said the petrol was stored close to the kitchen where the family cooked their meal.

So sad! #FuelScarcity is causing too much pain, now death!

Buhari advises states to do background checks on foreign companies before conducting business with them

President Buhari at the opening of the maiden Kaduna Economic and Investment Summit, organised by the Kaduna State Government, in Kaduna yesterday, advised private companies and state governments to be careful and conduct proper background checks on foreign companies before doing business with them.
The President, who was represented by Governor Nasir El-Rufa’i, said:

“In the face of dwindling oil revenue, I am very pleased to note the efforts being made by state governments to diversify their internally generated revenue sources by opening up their economy for investors and providing a conducive enabling environment. “More recently, these efforts have been demonstrated not with mere rhetoric or political statements, but with practical policies and well thought out legislation.

“The Kaduna Investment and Economic Summit is a pointer to one of these efforts. State governments and, indeed, the private sector should take care and make background checks before engaging with foreign partners.”

"The summit would help diversify our oil dependent economy to other viable sectors, where we have competitive advantage."

“Private sector led investments remain the most sustainable way of creating much needed jobs and engendering purposeful growth,”

"All stakeholders must make concerted efforts towards sustaining functioning industries, establishing new ones as well as revival of moribund industries."

Source: Vanguard

Carol Gracias is the First Pregnant Woman to Strut the Runway in India and She’s a Showstopper!

Still in the spirit of styling your bump with inspirations by the BN Style Your Bumpseries, we have something very special to share.

Wearing a sari by Gaurang Shah‘s spring summer collection, Indian supermodel Carol Gracias is the first pregnant woman to walk the runway in India and her baby bump stole the show at India’s Lakme Fashion Week Summer Resort 2016 in Mumbai.

Here’s what she had to say,

I have been doing his (Gaurang’s) shows for many years now, so this time as usual he called and asked if he could book me. I told him I was pregnant and he still asked if I would walk for the show.

So, I gave it a thought, and realised that the clothes to be showcased are meant for all kinds of women. I thought if the designer would like me in his show, then why not? I really enjoyed the experience.

The designer wasn’t hesitant to have her model his sari saying,

My assistant asked me what do we do? Do we still ask her to walk? And I thought well, what’s the big deal? It’s a natural thing. Even while draping the sari, I thought she’d want to cover up but she was very confident and tied the sari low-waist. I asked her: would you be able to walk with high heels and she just said: ‘I’ll do it!’ … And it connected with the audiences. Even though it wasn’t planned that way, she became my showstopper!

Here’s a picture of the designer Gaurang Shah, taking a bow after his show.

On a platform where body image is everything, it’s special to see this mom to be cradle her bump while she struts the runway and she looks stunning!

Credits: Gaurang Shah | @shahgaurang,hindustantimes.com

Blac Chyna's mum fires shots at the Kardashians after engagement

Blac Chyna's mum fires shots at the Kardashians after Engagement

In an Instagram post which has since been deleted, Blac Chyna's mum, Ms Tokyo posted a Photoshopped picture of Kim, Khloe and Kylie Jenner crying while holding onto Blac's wedding dress train. She also made fun of the Kardashian's Armenian heritage. Saying she's grateful that there would be no blonde hair blue eyes when Blac Chyna and Rob do have a kid. This woman ehn! Lol. More diss after the cut...

Oge Okoye Smoking Hawt In Body Hugging Dress

The beautiful actress and mother of two, Oke Okoye shared these lovely pics on her Instagram page last night…Feeling the hotness

The Apocalypse: Here's When Science Says the World Will End

Mic

Claire Lampen 4 hours ago

The world didn't end when the Mayans said it would: Dec. 21, 2012 came and went without the long-predicted apocalypse. Which means that we still have that to look forward to. Inquiring minds want to know when; enterprising individuals want to prepare. So when will the world meet its end? When is the apocalypse, not according to some random internet pastor but according to science?

Read more: 12 Years Later, Here's What Happened to the Viral Mastermind Behind "The End of the World"

There's this thing called the Doomsday Clock. Every year, a board of geniuses convenes to determine how it should be reset — sort of like daylight savings, but less predictable and miles more disconcerting. As the Telegraphreported, these knowledgable few declared in January that 2016 puts us one hour closer to midnight on the clock, which is to say, the apocalypse.

The Apocalypse: Here's When Science Says the World Will End — Source: Giphy

According to the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, we are currently three minutes to midnight, when we will have "destroy[ed] our civilization with dangerous technologies of our own making." This reckoning takes into account nuclear weapons, climate change, biotechnology and emerging technologies (cyber tech, for example). Since 1945, scientists have been charting our demise with the clock — we haven't been this close to the apocalypse since "the early days of hydrogen bomb testing," the Telegraph reported.

But the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists isn't the only group speculating on when, precisely, the world will end. Researchers at Oxford University's Future of Humanity Institute teamed up with the Global Challenges Foundation and released a report in 2015 that listed 12 potential death blows that civilization could be dealt. There's not a time stamp on any of them, but one can weigh the purported risks against our current global situations to get an idea of appropriate apocalypse stress level.

According to the report, the clear and present dangers break down into four categories. When it comes to "current risks," there's "extreme climate change," "nuclear war," "ecological catastrophe," "global pandemic" and "global system collapse" to dread. "Exogenic risks" include "major asteroid impact" and "supervolcano." Emerging risks are "synthetic biology," "nanotechnology," "artificial intelligence" and the ambiguous "uncertain risks." There's just one "global policy risk," and it is "future bad global governance."

One might think about ebola, or our rising global temperatures, or all the nukes in the hands of all the countries, or the smorgasbord of A.I. technologies or the incredibly realisticsynthetic skin we're now growing in labs and start to feel a little queasy. One might ruminate on the improbable rise of a reality television star/billionaire to the position of Republican frontrunner for U.S. presidency and feel compelled to start building the bunker now.

But science can't really say how or when the world will end, at least, not at present. Who knows? Maybe it'll be death by zombie for all of us. Or, the earth will hang in there for another 6 billion years before it's cannibalized by our dying sun. Outlook: hazy.